Learning to Love Yourself

Self Love Series- Part 1

Does anyone feel like the DUFF in your friend group? For the longest time, I’ve always felt like that. And if you don’t know what DUFF means, it means Designated Ugly Fat Friend. I saw my friends and I saw how skinny and beautiful they were, and guys would want to talk to them and not me. I thought that everything changed when I got into a relationship. For four years, I had a handsome and wonderful boyfriend who always told me how beautiful I was, how he loved my curves, and everything about me.

But this is the thing. I would never truly believe him. It wasn’t until after we broke up that I realized how much I put myself down. I would constantly try to look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I was beautiful. But the attempts stopped short when I would be around my friends, and the only person that wasn’t getting noticed was me. I know how bad that sounds, but when since I was bullied a lot growing up because of my physical appearance, it was and still is hard for me to overcome that negativity that is engrained in my mind.

But here is what I learned since I moved to Maryland. The first lesson is that I had a lot of free time on my hands. I thought about my past relationship and the situations where I saw that I wasn’t loving myself. Even though I had a love for someone and love from that person back, I didn’t know how to love myself. That was a hurdle that I had to go over, and now a year of being myself, my self-confidence amplified, and I can say that I truly love my curves and my rolls.

The second lesson that I learned is that being out of a relationship also allowed me to learn how to be myself. I learned how to not give a damn about what society or other people think about me. I started to dress according to my body instead of hiding it. If I wanted to feel good, I would go shopping and put on cute things, take pictures, and looking at my body, and see someone worthy. I can look in the mirror and finally see a young woman who is attractive and beautiful. I’m living happy, and finally learning that I am that attractive woman!

So, my challenge to you reading this is to not care about what people say about you, or what you see on social media. Cause guess what, the only person that will truly love you is you. I lost self-love for most of my life, and I’m finally grasping it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Put on makeup or don’t, dress up, take pictures, do what makes you feel the best, and live your best life.

-Nadine Bourne